GET TO KNOW ME

The Winch: 'What should I write here, Gadget?'

Gadget: 'Oh, definitely tell them the truth... they won't think you're crazy...

Tell them you're a vampiric, immortal warlord from who knows what century BC. And that you're trying to gain influence through the wonders of modern technology and social media to take over the world... I'm sure they'll understand your struggles...'

The Winch: 'Point taken... I'll just say that I make videos...'